yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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