I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
