You really coming over, don't trick.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
