just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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