Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
