should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Drunk is not a location!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
