it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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