smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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