remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
