but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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