can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
