I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sex in the backyard? Check.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
