guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
