he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
