man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
