Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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