similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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