Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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