are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
