worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my shit smells like andre
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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