I puked a lego.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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