I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
