i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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