i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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