So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
