rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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