Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize