My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
