Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
