My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
