I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
