She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
