He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
