Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize