I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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