you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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