I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
