and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
