You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
