Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
