i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize