That's intense
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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