Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
