I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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