Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
