he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
