honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
