pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She said her name was "party"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
