The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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