She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
