Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
