I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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