Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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