Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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