I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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