We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
