There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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