I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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