This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
